After a divorce, every child has the right to contact with both parents. This is important for the proper development and well-being of a child. It is therefore legally required for parents to draw up a parenting plan with a care arrangement. In our practice, the question regularly arises as to which care arrangement is in the best interest of a young child. Babies and toddlers under the age of three can hardly or not at all express themselves verbally, which makes it difficult to estimate how they experience and perceive a certain care arrangement. This blog explains what experts generally consider to be in the best interest of a young child.
Attachment between the parent(s) and the child
In the age phase from zero to three years, children go through enormous development. One of these developments is that the foundation is laid for attachment. Attachment gives a child a safe and secure feeling and is the foundation for all later relationships of the child (Bowlby, 1973). The foundation for a secure attachment is laid in the case of a stable and harmonious relationship, in which the parent reacts sensitively and responsively to (the needs of) a child (Hendriks & Singendonk, 2018). This is the case if the parent is able to perceive signals from a child, understand them and can respond to them quickly and adequately. If a child cannot attach well to the parent(s), the child is later at greater risk of behavioral problems, relational problems and psychological problems (NJi, 2007). In order to build a good attachment, a child needs at least one parent or permanent caregiver. However, scientific research shows that it is also in the best interests of a child if both parents are involved in the daily care and upbringing (including Warshak, 2016).
What is an appropriate care arrangement for the child and the non-resident parent?
According to some experts, it is very important for the attachment relationship with both parents that a child has frequent and extensive contact with both parents after a (legal) divorce, so that it will continue to feel safe, familiar and comfortable with both of them. According to them, both babies and toddlers benefit from also staying overnight with the non-resident parent, because evenings and overnight stays offer opportunities for crucial social interactions and caring activities that visits of a few hours cannot provide (Lmb, 2018; Warshak, 2016; Kelly & Lamb, 2000).
Other experts are more cautious about overnight stays, especially when it concerns very young children who have not yet reached the age of 18 months or 2 years. According to them, it is preferable to agree on a care arrangement for these children, in which a child and the non-resident parent have frequent but short contact. The non-resident parent will then spend time with the child several times a week, for a maximum of a few hours each time. In this way, the non-resident parent can continue to play a role in the daily care. As a child gets older, more time can be spent with the non-resident parent and overnight stays can be considered (Ed Spruijt 2014; P.Vermeulen 2009).
An appropriate care arrangement, which includes the number of contact hours and possible overnight stays, naturally depends on various circumstances, such as the quality of parenting, the needs of your child, your personal circumstances and those of your (ex-)partner.
An appropriate care arrangement in the case of co-parenting?
For a long time, co-parenting under the age of three was not considered to be in the best interests of the child, because the child would be too dependent on the care of the primary caregiver and would have an insufficiently developed personality (including Martens, 2007). However, recent(er) research shows that children can grow up well in two homes after a divorce, even at a very young age (including Nielsen, 2017; Turunen, 2017; Westphal, 2015). According to experts, the conditions that apply in the case of co-parenting are that safety is guaranteed, that the parents have sufficient parenting skills and sensitivity, and that there is good coordination between parents (Gilmore, 2006; Harris-Short, 2011; Nikolina, 2015). Experts also point out that it is in the best interests of the child to see each parent regularly. Not seeing the other parent for a week is generally experienced as too long for young children. A care arrangement should limit (too) long separations from each of the parents in order to prevent separation anxiety.
What to do if you and your (ex-)partner cannot reach a suitable care arrangement?
Making agreements by mutual agreement is preferable, with or without the help of a mediator or lawyer. If this does not work, the judge can, at the request of one of the parents, establish a provisional care arrangement based on article 1:253a of the Civil Code. Making a provisional care arrangement is important, because in practice the definitive establishment of a care arrangement can take months. The judge will make such a decision as he deems desirable in the interests of the child.
Would you like to know more about a care arrangement for young children or about establishing a provisional care arrangement through the court? Or would you like to have a customized solution drawn up for the care arrangement? Then contact contact with our office. We will be happy to assist you.